he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
