Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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