I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
this will be a night to untag.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
