Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
The air was thick with penises
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
