My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I have already put on my inside pants.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
