I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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