HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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