I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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