If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
