More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
