y did u give ur computer a hand job?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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