Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Randomize
