I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
