I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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