I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Randomize
