erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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