you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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