trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
