Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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