eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
