And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
