i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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