I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
