he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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