Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
and you fell through a lawn chair
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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