im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
