awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
