you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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