Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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