I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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