Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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