Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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