whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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