Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I understand Curling. That high.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Panties = found
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
