Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
