there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
