I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Betty ford says i'm here all night
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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