I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
