My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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