do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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