i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
