Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
