And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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