well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I will die if light touches me.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Life without a bra equals bliss.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
