We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
