I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
