I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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