All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
