I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Randomize
