He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
