What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
