my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
My boob is missing a layer of skin
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
