3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
