His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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