I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
