I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
