Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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